101 Ways to Gross Out Your Mom

#100: Be excused early from the lunch table for inappropriate behavior.  Upon being sent to the bathroom to use the toilet and wash up, proceed to stand at the sink and take several minutes to "blow" a goatee of slimy spit bubbles (about 2 inches below the chin ought to do the job).  The downside to this particular method is that your mom may make you take your own hand and wipe the slimy spit bubbles off into the sink, and plus you'll get chastised for not having yet made it to the toilet.  (Another incident w/ the 3- almost 4-year old- same day as #101.)